A late night drink
by Coneofwonders
Summary: (Based shortly after the fan fic Legend of the kung fu Python) A day after the defeat of Fennu, Mantis decides to take Mike to a pub to celebrate his victory. After several refusals, Mike reluctantly agrees and heads down to the Silver Yuan, a well known pub, and has a few drinks. Only problem is, will he learn to put down the glass in time before he does something he'll regret?
1. Chapter 1

It had been a full day since the defeat of Fennu and the Valley of Peace had begun to settle down. The battle had been fierce and had nearly cost the lives of two warriors. A panther known as Yinshen who had taken her leave back to Gongmen city and live the life that was originally meant for her. The other was the Jade palace's newest member. A python named Mike. He had managed to confront the gorilla warlord with the panthers help and succeeded, nearly losing his own life. But now, there was nothing but peace. At long last. Even if it lasted for a day, it was a day without worry of being attacked from a powerful enemy. It was at that point that one of the other warriors of the Jade Palace, Mantis, had decided that it would do Mike some good to get out and celebrate, maybe drink a few beers. The bug knew that he certainly needed some after Yinshen left and broke his tiny little heart, despite the fact that he never caught on that Yinshen never liked him in the first place, Mantis always thought the opposite. Oh well. Maybe there would be another attractive girl over in the bars. But for now, he was trying his hardest to convince Mike to take the night off and have a guys night out. It didn't seem to be going all too well.

"For the last time Mantis, no means no"! The python hissed as he slithered his way into the barracks kitchen with the miniature bug closely in pursuit behind him.

"Aw come on man! It's just one night and a couple of beers! If you're lucky you might get some... you know, action". Mantis winked nudging Mike before hopping up onto the table as Mike grabbed himself a glass of water.

"Mantis, I'm with Viper remember"? He snapped in a warning tone.

"Yeah, but she doesn't have to know that".

Mike massaged his head with his tail in an attempt to rid himself of the quickly growing headache he was starting to recieve.

"It's no bloody wonder Yinshen didn't go out with you". He muttered loud enough for Mantis to hear.

"You're kidding right? She was just playing hard to get was all".

"If by hard to get you mean flicking you off her shoulder, kicking you into a wall and verbally insulting you on multiple occasions, then she was certainly trying hard indeed".

"Ha ha! Very funny! But anyway, back to my offer"?...

"No".

"Why not"? Mantis Pouted, throwing his arms up into the air starting to feel a little frustrated himself.

"Why not? Are you kidding me? Everytime you go out drinking, you get drunk off your ass and someone always ends up dragging you home".

"I only take one pint"!

"Well yeah, that would be fine for someone my size. But your size, well let's just say I'm surprised your liver is still working". Mike countered, not entirely sure if bugs have livers. "Plus you'll end up getting me just as drunk like you do with Monkey and in the morning I'll end up explaining to both Shifu and Viper why I have a hangover"!

"Well, yeah but, it's not like I'm asking you to get drunk. Just one pint! You've earned it what with all the craziness yesterday".

"Sorry Mantis, but my answer remains unchanged".

And neither did Mantis's persistence as throughout the remainder of the afternoon. Whenever he could he would ask the same question over and over again. "Want to get a beer"? It didn't matter what Mike was doing when he asked. Whether it was during training, or through dinner, or even when Mike was halfway through showering creepily enough, which proved to drain the last of whatever patience the python had remaining.

"MANTIS! What the hell are you doing spying on me while I'm in the shower"!? He yelled, covering his body from the bug with the shower curtain. Mantis remained unfazed.

"Uh Mike, you don't have to cover up. You don't normally wear clothes". He pointed out to the over dramatic snake.

"That's besides the point! Ever heard of privacy"?!

"Jeez, calm down man. I just wanted to ask you something".

"Mantis". Mike hissed. "I swear to God if you ask me if I want to go get a beer ONE MORE TIME, I will stick a hook into your chest and use you as fishing bait"!

"So... I take it as a maybe"?

If Mike gritted his teeth any harder, he would have risked breaking them. There was only so much that a calm individual could deal with and Mantis was testing those limits. But it was obvious that Mantis would keep asking him the same question over and over again until he said yes. He knew he was going to regret this, but the quicker he did it, the quicker he could have some peace and quiet.

"You know what? Fine! I'll do it! I'll have a pint! Yip de freaking do! Now will you just shut up already"!?

"Alright then, that's more like it. See you at eight". He smiled happily before leaving to Mike's happiness.

"Finally he's gone! Maybe now I'll be able to get some peace before"-

He hadn't had time to finish the thought in his head, someone knocked on the closed door before speaking. Turns out it was Tigress.

"Mike, bandits are robbing Ying the grocer! Let's go"!

"God. Damn it".

...

I'm going to be starting uni in a weeks time and I got the idea of this story after thinking what Freshers week is going to be like. Just a silly little story I couldn't help but write about ^^.

There'll be three chapters all together and one will be submitted a day. That way I won't have to worry about losing track of time with it as I have done with a couple of my other stories. This one I WILL finish with no problems. Hopefully.

So to clarify, if you haven't read my main fanfic "Legend of the kung fu python", this story is based one day after the events of part one, after defeating Fennu. Mantis takes Mike drinking and the night takes an interesting turn from there. Also, there is a reason I've written this story in 3rd person. I won't explain why that is until the last chapter to avoid spoilers. But for now, I hope you enjoy reading this short. Cheerio!


	2. Chapter 2

After quickly rushing down to the village and dealing with the group of bandits threatening a grocery shop, Mike felt both more at ease and that much more on edge. At ease because he managed to vent some of his frustration into some of the opposing bandits, and on edge because he still felt the headache. Nothing major but it did cause him pain whenever he spun round too fast. As soon as the bandits were apprehended, Mantis did well to point out to him the pub that he was hoping to go to. Mike said nothing and slithered past his tiny brother in combat.

Within the remaining few hours before this night out, the python managed to drown his sorrows a little extra training and was lucky enough to trick Viper into thinking that he had some late night patrolling to do. Luckily she wasn't able to catch on to the plan which Mike was thankful for. Now all that remained was to wait in his room for Mantis to come along and collect him like a wild animal. He hissed in anger at the bug for making him do this, but was just as angry at himself for allowing himself to break so easily. He was a warrior. Someone who was not supposed to break under pressure. Still, at least NOW he could have even five minutes to himself. Five minutes before everything goes down the drain.

Someone was knocking on his door now. Just like that, his face frowned and he slithered over to the door. Perhaps it would be smarter not to answer and just stay in his room all night. But even if he was able to ride out the rest of the day, there would be nothing to stop the little pest from trying again and again, day in day out. The snake sighed one last time before opening the door and looked immediately down to see Mantis. The only thing difference about him was that he had a comically tiny bow tie wrapped around his neck which Mike couldn't help admitting was cute. His thoughts were quickly interrupted by the eager bug.

"Well whada you know? He's still coming along"! He surprise mocked while Mike's face remained motionless. The bug relaxed and gave a small laugh at his little routine. "You know, I was kind of expecting you not to answer the door and just stay in your room all night".

"It was tempting. But it was either that or suffer tomorrow". Mike groaned, feeling the time stretch longer and longer the more he just stood there. "Can we please just go and get this over with? You know that Shifu's supposed to be giving some sort of important announcement tomorrow".

And he was right. When Mike had returned from the village after seeing Yinshen off, Shifu made sure to remind him of an announcement that he, Po and the Five would be glad to hear about. Shifu's announcements always happened during the mornings, right after breakfast which meant that it was best to have just one beer and be done. Or he could try breaking Mantis in half and give an excuse about a training exercise gone wrong. No, he'd never get away with that and he knew it. Then again, if Yinshen had stayed another day or two then Mantis's attention would have been wasted on her and would have distracted him long enough to make him forget about this night. Though it might have resulted in the panther crushing him under her boot until he was nothing but a green smear. But that pleasant thought died away as well, leaving Mike stuck with the only option placed in front of him.

"Alright, screw it. Let's just get this over with".

"There's the python I know and love"! Mantis cheered, hardly detecting the venomous words dripping from the snakes fangs. "Let's go"!

Mantis immediately hopped out of the barracks while Mike followed at a somewhat significantly slower speed. The other warriors that they ran into across the open area gave them a quick hello before passing them. Just as well that none of them asked what they were up to tonight. The two traveled down the hundreds of stairs that led down to the village below and came across the pub that Mantis had pointed out earlier that day. The one named the Silver Yuan. Mike gave a small groan to himself. Not that there was anything wrong with the pub, but he had been hoping that Mantis had picked somewhere different and, with respect, a bit more class.

"Mantis, can we at least choose somewhere a little more, you know, different this time? Celebration or not I'd feel more comfortable having a drink in a nicer place".

"You're kidding right? The Silver yuan is the classiest place in the valley of peace"! Mantis argued back.

"Last time we were here I almost slithered over a broken glass bottle". Mike hissed.

"So, just watch your step". The bug spoke as though it was the most simple thing in the world. For now, Mike just kept his mouth shut and headed into the bar and told his friend to get somewhere for them to sit while he got the drinks. Knowing Mantis he'd end up buying him the most alcoholic drink on the menu. As he slithered his way up to the bar, his angered face dropped and turned to a kind smile, not wanting to rub off any negativity onto anyone else. It didn't take too long until the Scottish goat bartender made his way up to him, standing on the other side of the counter.

"A'right there lad? Glad teh see yer still standin after giving that gorilla a proper butt kickin eh"?

"Just got lucky I suppose". Mike smiled as he brushed his tail over his fangs and teeth, remembering the serious pain of having half of them shattered into pieces on that day. "Anyway, I'm just down for a quick drink with a friend of mine. Could I have one beer please and"...

Mike looked back to check on where Mantis was sitting. He barely found him just hopping up onto a wooden chair and then onto the round dented table next to it.

"... A couple drops of beer in a fimble please". If Mantis was getting him to drink, he'd be sure to make the little annoyance suffer for it in any way he could.

"Sure thing lad. Be right back with yeh in a sec".

The old goat left for a second and came back with a normal sized beer and a small hole less fimble filled with beer. Mike thanked the goat and took the drinks over to the table Mantis was standing on. He handed the tiny drink over and did his best not to laugh upon seeing the confused and offended look on the bugs face as he stared at what he had just been offered.

"What's this"? He snapped to Mikes amusement.

"Your drink". He smugly replied.

The angered look plastered on Mantis's face just made it all the more funnier to Mike. And with the tiny bowtie he was wearing, it was almost impossible to take him seriously.

"Besides, you know what you're like after a full normal glass. And so do I".

"Why what did I do"? Mantis questioned, not actually remembering what had happened.

"First time I found you after drinking, you tried insulting me by calling me limbless and talked about how clouds floated".

"But you ARE limbless".

"Still counts as an insult". Mike countered before taking a small sip of his beer. "Anyway, what's with that little bowtie"?

"Oh this"? Mantis smiled as though impressed with himself. "Just to show how stylish I am with some of the Valleys ladies".

Mike raised an eyebrow before checking the area round him. The only thing that looked like a lady was a painting on the wall behind him showing a female snow leopard standing under a hot sun in a sleeveless shirt.

"I don't think you'll be finding any of them in here". Mike replied taking another larger sip.

For the next fifteen minutes, Mike and Mantis kept on talking about whatever crossed their minds. One moment they would be talking about what life was like as a human and the next could be explaining the story to achieving patience. But those conversations didn't last all too long as Mike finished his drink and was more than eager to leave.

"Well, that's me done. Guess we'd better be off then". He stated, lowering the now empty glass and putting it down gently on the table. Mantis quickly interjected.

"Aw come on Mike! One more glass! Please"?

"No can do buddy. Now come on, let's"-

"Ah, leavin already"?

Mike looked to the source of the voice. The Scottish barkeeper was right next to him holding a tray that held a bottle of wine and several wine glasses.

"Fraid so sir". Mike smiled politely.

"Sure ah can't persuade yeh with one o these"? The old goat joked gesturing his head to the bottle of wine.

"Oh, that's awfully kind of you but I couldn't"-

"I'll be happy to take it off your hooves". Mantis smirked.

"Mantis"! Mike snapped at the rudeness of his friend.

"What? He offered"?

Mike was surprised to hear the old barkeeper chuckle.

"Not teh worry Master Mike. Tis the least ah can do for the both of yehs after yeh saved this town from those bloody gorilla brutes". He offered.

Mike wasn't sure what to do. He did want to leave, but he didn't want to be rude by refusing the generous offer. He'd have to be careful, but perhaps one glass won't hurt.

"Go on then". Mike half sighed as the large bottle now stood in front of him. He quickly poured himself half a glass while Mantis poured his right up to the rim. The python muttered angrily, knowing that he would soon be having to deal with a drunk insect.

As Mike finished his half glass, he glanced over to the insect, seeing him finish his own. For a tiny being, Mantis sure could drink. It had been only five minutes since the barkeeper had offered them the wine and the conversation was running dry. Maybe that was because Mantis was shifting his eyes left to right at Mikes sides which the python felt to be somewhat creepy.

"What are you doing"? Mike sighed after his eyes began spinning round in circles.

"What am I doing"? Mantis argued back with a slurred voice. No doubt about it, he was drunk. "Why are YOU spinning round in circles"?!

Mike shook his head. Least that answered his question for him.

"Okay, perhaps we should be heading back up to the Jade Palace".

"Aw what? Why? I'm not tired yet"... Pouted the insect just before accidentally shuffling to the side nearly losing his balance.

"Yeah well, too bad for you. Now come on, let's go"!

Before Mike could even slither from his seat, he found the old bartender goat looking at him and waving with a smile. Mike stopped for a second and looked to the bottle of wine. It was still half full. Mike waved back and remained in his seat for another moment, thinking. It felt somewhat rude to just walk away from something that had just been offered to you, and Mike was too polite to just refuse. And there was no way he'd be allowed to take it back up to the Jade palace. And with Mantis drunk, he'd need to drink it himself.

"Damn it"... He thought in his head. "Okay, I'll take one more glass, say that I've had enough and thank the barkeeper for the bottle then take Mantis back up to the Jade palace, go to bed, and Shifu need never know of this little ordeal".

With that logic, Mike poured himself another glass and began to drink it.

"Besides, what's the worst that could happen"?

...

Next chapter, the worst happens. Cheerio!


	3. Chapter 3

The python opened his bloodshot eyes and was met with a new experience. The mother of all headaches. He groaned in pain as he tried to avoid using any sudden movements. Even the low buzzing sound he could hear stung. He could barely even move. But it didn't stop him from realising where he was. His room at the Jade palace. It was morning. Had he slithered back here? He couldn't remember. If he did, he hoped that nobody had seen him. Although he didn't have to wait long to know the answer as his door opened to reveal an angry green snake. Viper.

"Uhhh... Hello"? Mike spoke, unsure what it was he had done wrong to see her mad at him. As far as he was concerned, she was always mad at him. She sighed, putting her tail between her eyes to sooth herself before speaking.

"I could imagine Mantis getting drunk. But you, one of the more sensible warriors, decide to heed his advice and get just as drunk"!

Mike's eyes widened. She knew. She continued.

"Myself and Crane had to try and find you two in the valley and there you were drinking in a pub"!

Mike shut his eyes unsure what to think or say. He had never gotten drunk before, and now here Viper was telling him that he had. He had every right to feel embarrassed.

"I didn't have too much to drink Vipes. I doubt I was that drunk"... He tried calming her down.

"You grabbed Crane and tried throwing him at a passing pig villager while yelling Angry Birds"!

"... Oh. Maybe I was that drunk then"... Mike mumbled, placing his tail over his head as though thinking it might soothe the headache. "What on earth did I do"? He asked half rhetorical, half serious. Viper made sure to tell him. And in great detail too.

"When I and Crane found you, you were"...

...

TEN HOURS AGO

Viper had asked Crane to see if he could help her find Mike and Mantis down in the village. Mike had explained to her that he and Mantis were doing some late night patrolling earlier but something seemed off about the way he said it. As though he was trying to cover something up. Not to mention that Mantis was rather happy. He hated night patrols. The pair of them were hiding something and she was going to find out what.

The two of them marched though out the whole of town. No sight of the two. Even when Crane tried to spot them from a birds eye view above. She hoped that the two were okay, but still she felt a little annoyed that Mike, of all people, would possibly lie to her. If he had, he'd better have had a good reason to have done so for his sake. The only thing she could think of doing now was checking the still open public buildings. Eventually, it ended with the two of them stepping inside the Silver Yuan.

The place was packed. Goats, geese, pigs and rabbits owned the bar as they sat round tables talking amongst themselves in loud voices. To Viper, the place was a mad house. She ignored the ongoing commotion and made her way up to the counter, trying to get the barkeepers attention.

"Ev'nin there lass. What can ah do yeh for"?

"Hello. I was wondering if you have seen the whereabouts of Masters Mike and Mantis"? She asked politely. The old goat chuckled and simply pointed to the furthest table in the corner. There she saw Mike with his head on the table with half closed eyes while Mantis was trying to talk to a picture of a snow leopard mounted on the wall.

"Figures". Crane deadpanned, expecting this sort of thing from Mantis. Viper on the other hand was near horrified at the fact that Mike had been drinking. He should have been smarter than this. She made no hesitation to slither up to the table and gently rock his head back and forth. There may have been the possibility that he was just tired.

"Mike, sweety"? She asked gently. "Are you okay"?

Mike's eyes slowly turned to her and immediately widened upon seeing who was speaking to him. He raised his head and gave a large, yet disturbing smile at Viper.

"VIPER"! He exclaimed happily. "What'chu doin here"? He slurred loudly before hugging the snake in front of him. Viper smelled the air sensing the alcohol on his breath and noticed an empty bottle just sitting on the table.

"Mike, has someone been drinking"? She asked in a worried tone, hoping that he would say someone else's name instead of his own. However the response was not what she was expecting. Mike instantly broke the hug and looked at her with a hurt expression.

"Drinking? Viper! I have not seen you for the last three hours! And the second I see you, the first words that come into your mind is drinking"! He snapped, somewhat making a big deal out of it. "Being an alcoholic is a very serious thing young lady"! He wagged his tail right in her face in which she was forced to lean back to avoid being hit by it.

"Mike". Crane stepped forward. "She meant if YOU have been drinking". No need to ask the same thing to Mantis as he was now kissing the same painting he had been talking up.

"Oh. Yeah four glasses". Mike shrugged like it was no big deal.

"WHAT"? The pair yelled, one shocked, the other near furious. Mike waved his tail again and shook his head.

"Guys. Guys guys guys guys guys. GUYS! I assu- I assure you... That I's is perfeckly fine". He hiccuped. "Watch I'll proves it".

Mike raised his head and was going to simply slither to one side of the room and back without wobbling all over the place. Though he misjudged the distance from the chair to the wooden floor as he leapt head first into it with a loud clunk. Mantis heard it and rushed from the picture to Mike's side, shaking his head in a worried state. He wasn't unconscious, just hurt.

"MIKE? Buddy? Speak to me! What happened"?

"He just hit his head on the floor"! Crane spoke almost as worried in case Mike had seriously hurt himself. Mantis bcame quickly angry and stared down, pointing one of his pointy dealies at the floor.

"JUST WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, HUH"!? He yelled at the floor. "Mess with the python, you mess with me"! He snapped before clawing at the floor doing little damage to it.

Crane pulled Viper to the side, leaving Mantis to do as he pleased to the defenseless floor.

"Viper, we need to get these two back to the Jade palace and into their beds before Shifu learns of this".

"Agreed. I'll take Mike, you help Mantis".

The two turned back to the two drunks. Mantis still attacked the floor in a blind fury while Mike just watched in interest at the ongoing fight between the bug and the floorboards. Viper stepped forward and placed her tail on Mike's back, getting his attention as he turned round quizzically to look at Viper.

"Mike, we need to get you home. Will you let me take you back to the Jade palace"?

"Yeah yeah yeah. Sure thing Vipes. Just gimme a minute". He turned his attention back to the aggresive insect before claiming. "I got ten yuan on the floor".

Viper rolled her eyes before dragging Mike away. His eyes remained on Mantis until Crane picked Mantis up. It was a shame that he wasn't as easily persuaded as Mike was as he tried to wrestle himself out of Crane's grip.

"Wait! Don't take me from my true love"! He yelled, forgetting all about the floor and focused back on the picture he had been making out with. "Crane, stop! Jus-BABY GIRL, WRITE TO ME"! Was his last words after being forcefully escorted out of the pub. Though the journey home wasn't any easier.

"Hey, Vipes. Wanna hear a secret"? Mike slurred as Viper helped him from falling.

"What"? Viper asked gently.

Mike looked round side to side, acting suspiciously before gesturing for Viper to lean in. Viper played along and did what he asked and cautiously leaned in further and further until Mike was satisfied with the closed distance between the two. He took one last look around before pronouncing something important to him.

"I'M BATMAN"! He yelled at a loud, yet low pitched voice before laughing like a maniac. The sudden volume forced Viper to flinch before sighing, unsure of who this bat man was. Truth be she didn't really care one bit. The only positive thing that she had learned was that Mike was a happy drunk.

However, that wasn't entirely true as things got worse a couple of minutes later as the crazed laughter turned to silence as Mike grew serious once again. His eyes were narrowed and he looked to be staring at something off in the distance. Viper noticed the unusual silence and followed his eyes to where Mike was looking. It turned out he was glaring at a pig villager off in the distance, about thirty feet away. Although what he was doing to receive such a hateful glare from Mike she didn't know. As far as she could tell, the villager was just taking a walk around the village, past the Jade palace stairs.

"Mike, why are you"-

Any further words were cut off as Mike quickly put his tail to her mouth and shushed her. He looked back to the pig villager and just observed him to see what he was doing.

"Mike, could you please"-

"Sssshh. Shhhhhh! SSSSSHHHHH"! Was her response as Mike hushed her rather hastily, nearly drenching the poor serpent in saliva. There was no point of arguing with the drunk just yet so Viper decided to keep silent for now but kept a careful eye on the python, just in case. For the time being he kept his eyes on the pig until at last, he spoke.

"Wait here".

Before Viper could argue, Mike slithered quickly over to Crane from behind and before even Viper could ask what he was doing, or even stop him in time, he grabbed Crane and held him up into the air against his own will. Mantis fell to the ground and landed with a soft thump as he slept.

"Hey! What are you"- Crane squawked.

"ANGRY BIRDS ARE A GO"! Mike yelled out and threw Crane directly at the villager just before Viper tackled him to the ground in a late effort to stop him. Thankfully Crane was able to gain control of his unexpected flight and barely dodged the villager by gliding to the right in time and instead smacking into the Jade palace stairs from behind him. His head rested on the ground while his talons dangled down. One second was all it took for him to fall down and roll onto his back. The pig began to run back the way he had just came in fear that bandits were attacking. Mike wasn't having any of that.

"He's getting away"! He snapped as he tried chasing the pig down, though he was unable to break Vipers grip on him, no matter how hard he struggled. "I'LL GET YOU YET PIG! ONE OF THESE DAYS I'LL FIND THOSE GOLDEN EGGS YOU'VE HIDDEN"! He yelled at the now empty street.

Viper was glad that She and Crane were the only ones around. Anyone else and she was certain that she would die of embarrassment right there, right now. She'd be just to give Mike a serious talk in the morning, but for now, she managed to apprehend him and continued to pull him up the stairs. Crane was able to pull himself off of the ground, glared at the python as he passed him, and walked back over to where he had just been thrown to retrieve the still sleeping bug, thankful that Mantis was a heavy sleeper.

By the time Mike had gotten up to the top of the stairs, with some help, he looked round the area, accidentally swaying side to side a couple of times and wore a goofy grin on his face. Goodness only knows what he was thinking of doing. He looked back down the stairs. He had seemingly forgotten all about the pig villager and stopped dead in his tracks, nearly causing Viper to lean forwards as she kept a hold of him in case he was planning on doing something stupid again.

"Almost there". She muttered to herself angrily before turning back to Mike, giving him another kind look. "Come on Mike, we're almost home. Let's go".

Mike seemed to ignore her as he moved onto a different subject. He seemed to be rather focused on the stairs for a moment. It was clear to Viper that he was going to suggest something either stupid or dangerous. Turns out it was both.

"Hey Vipes. Betchu I can jump down all these lil steps in one leap". He smiled at his overconfidence. Viper began to worry and was quick to interject.

"No Mike. I will not allow you to hurt yourself like this". She snapped, pulling the python toward her so that he would face her, to see how serious she was. Mike scoffed and ignored it.

"Come come now Viper... Any- thing is possible if you just believe". He slurred, turning his attention back to the steps. Viper had half a mind to let him do just that. Then again, what would Shifu say? No, she had a responsibility to look after her friends, and in this case boyfriend, and that was what she would do. Instead, she grabbed Mike just before he tried slithering off and begun dragging his sorry behind to the barracks.

"Vipes..."?

"Yes"?

"Tanks for watchin over me"... Mike spoke with a drowsy smile before he quickly fell asleep, unable to stay awake any longer.

After she finally got Mike into the bed, Viper decided to spend the night with Tigress. She was tired, and rather annoyed. But at least it was all over. She just hoped that Crane was managing to handle Mantis just as well before she decided to fall asleep.

...

PRESENT

If Mikes head could sink any lower, it would be going through the floorboards. His mouth was dry and the headache would not go away. The fact that he had gone and made a complete ass out of himself did not help the situation either. He had just heard the last of Vipers story and buried his head in the pillow before him. He could only imagine that Mantis was just in as bad a state as he was. The only difference was that Mike had someone to remind him of it. If only he hadn't taken that glass of wine to spare the old goats feelings. Turns out there WAS such a thing as being too polite.

"Sorry". He spoke softly. His word was slightly muffled as he spoke into the pillow, unable to look Viper in the eye. However when Viper spoke up, her voice was not as angry as he had expected it to. It was still there, but it wasn't as bad as when she first slithered in.

"Look, Mike. Don't worry about it too much. I know you're usually more sensible than this so I'll forgive you this once. But you owe me after everything last night".

Mike shook his head up and down to show that he understood and listened as Viper slithered out of the room. Though before she did, Mike could hear her stop for a second.

"Also, I'd recommend skipping breakfast". She spoke in a matter-o-fact tone before leaving Mike on his own.

Eventually Mike found the strength to lift his head up from the soft pillow and slowly raised his head to the half open door. He was hoping that Viper hadn't said anything about this to Shifu or his life would have been over. He would just have to be careful around him. Especially since he had that important speech to give.

Twenty minutes was all it took for Shifu to call them over to the hall of heroes. Mike had barely enough time to wash himself before following everyone else over to the large building. As he stood next to Monkey, he watched Shifu take his place before them. Even for a snake, Mikes posture was barely bent forwards and he seemed to have a small bit of trouble staying upright once or twice. Luckily for him nobody seemed to notice. Mike looked to the left and found Mantis in the same sorry state that he was in. Lucky for the bug that he was nowhere near him. Yet.

"As you all know, after the defeat of the infamous warlord Fennu"... Shifu began. Mike wished he hadn't said that because Monkey gave him a near gentle pat on the back which almost sent Mike on a collision course to the floor. "The Emperor has reported that his forces are now en route to flush out the last remaining soldiers who still reside at the Galadriel gates. For now our services no longer stretch outside the boundaries of the Valley of peace. Which is why I feel it is for the best for all of us that a short break is required".

Everyone seemed surprised at the sudden and unusual generosity of their master. Everyone smiled at the idea, well, except for Tigress who looked somewhat crestfallen at the idea of "Taking a break". Though she did her best not to let her master sense her disappointment.

"How long for"? Monkey spoke out of the blue, raising his hand in the air like a schoolchild answering a teachers question.

"As long as you return to your duties this time next week, I won't mind. Though there will be serious consequences for those who don't. I trust you all understand"?

Everyone nodded.

"Good. Remember, just because you're on break does not mean for you to slack off. If you come across any bandits, it's still your right to defend the valley. You are all dismissed".

Mike stood still like a statue feeling some sort of irony. He was quickly knocked from his state of mind when Viper nudged him gently.

"So Mike, remember when I said this morning that you owed me"? She spoke quiet enough so no one else heard her.

"Yes"? Mike replied not liking what was about to come next.

"How well do you know Chinese literature"?

"Not very well since I can't read Chinese". Mike regrettably admitted.

"Then I suppose you won't mind if I taught you how to do so then, would you"?

"...No". Mike sighed, knowing better than to argue back. He looked back to see Mantis slowly walking out the door, who turned round in time to see the rage in Mike's eyes before hopping away as fast as he could.

"We'll start later. Right now I have to go teach someone a lesson"! Mike snapped before racing after the insect, ready to tear him to pieces. Viper smiled and shook her head. Men can be so thick sometimes.

"This is going to be a fun week". She smiled before calmly slithering down the stairs while humming a song.

...

And there we go. That's the end of this lil short story. Hope you enjoyed reading it.

Now, as for the reason it was written in first person was because I wasn't entirely sure how to do a 1st person view of Mike being drunk so I had to settle with another style of writing. Hopefully it didn't affect the story too much. Until next time cheerio!

P.S. Drunk python is funniest python


End file.
